Phronemophobia's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Exodus (2019)]

The song feels kinda Western, except out in space.

"Not much happens here at Vastitas Gulch. Just a small, quiet town in the middle of a large, quiet basin. Most stop on by to restock while making their way to see Olympus Mons while others drop on by to get a taste of our Mars-famous spaghetti. Just humble folk trying to get by on a planet without water... or oxygen. Don't ask us how we manage to boil the pasta. We don't rightly know ourselves."

Bertn1991 responds:

Another glorious review. 5.1/5

Water would boil at such a low temperature on Mars that cooking pasta would be impossible... or so we thought. Them Vastitas boys found a way dad-gummit.

[Breath of FIre 2_More than Reverb]

Wasn't long ago I finished BoF2 again on the Switch. If it wasn't for the nostalgia, I probably wouldn't enjoy listening to a slower piece like this one.

This is a solid four-star submission. It doesn't really do anything to separate itself from the original. It's clearly not meant to, either. I just appreciate having a high-quality version of it, rather than the now-dated SNES rip from the game.

[Mario Paintin' - The Way Too Long Version (2020)]

The song is too long and the description is too short? Wait, what in tarnation is happening in the quarantined world of Bertn?!

There was so much build-up in this, but the climax was far too short. I was truly expecting the entire collection of sound effects to kinda come together in the end. It started to, of course, but it felt a little too... safe? too structured and underwhelming? Not entirely sure how to phrase it. All I know is if anyone could just suddenly explode into a glorious, spontaneous celebration of silliness with everything Mario Paint had to offer, it would be THE Brent Bunn.

5 out of 6 stars. I love it, but it's not perfect.
I'm sorry for being harsh.

Bertn1991 responds:

I hear you and understand. I worked on this song forever but could never come up with anything after the first section, so that's why it just repeats with all the Mario Paint instruments. Easy enough. It was tough to bring all the instruments in at the end and have each one shine, but maybe I didn't try very hard.

I'm inspired to remake it now. We can rebuilt it. We have the technology. Mario Paintin' 2 confirmed.

[Mallard Mania (2020)]

Ah yes, the music during the credits of Mallard Run is probably the most memorable part of the game. An unexpectedly cheery end to an unexpectedly spooky platformer. For most games, the 3D graphics on the N64 have aged poorly over the years, but that merely enhances the creepiness of exploring the murky waters of the mallard's ghost house once again. This time I came prepared, too! Got my flashlight sealed within a large storage zipper bag, along with another bag filled with garlic AND silver bullet-flavored bread crumbs, and my trusty NES Zapper.

Thank you for this lovely trip down memory river, Bertn.

Bertn1991 responds:

You are officially my favorite human <3

[Micker Cripper Mime (from Final Fantasy 5)]

This song razzles, dazzles, and charms the ears like nothing I've heard before. It's an organized mess of whimsy and joy that initially had me believing it would just unravel at any moment, yet it holds together from start to finish in the most Moogle manner possible.

[TwiSuRn]

I was a little worried about the length, but you kept it soundin' fresh throughout. That's impressive on its own. I'm sure it's just me thinking this, but it sounds like the music for a Donkey Kong Country level that would take place in a city. I guess it'd be a gorilla-run city somewhere on DK Island... I don't know.

It's a great song. Thank you.

[Pillow Thoughts]

Just a relaxing, head-bobbin' track. Five stars for providing a simple pleasure. Thank you, HOTS.

[Shitmare On Elmshit]

I was just kinda half-listening through the first 43 seconds, but after that second voice clip, I was really getting into it. I wish that was the beginning and you built upon it, instead. The overused fart sound at the end kinda sours the piece, but I can just cut it out through my music player. The title is a little much, Alex. Too on the nose. Remember, a little subtlety can help turn a good shitpost into a great shitpost.