Phronemophobia's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Akiko's Mission (2019)]

There's not much to go on, so I'm left to speculate. Cosmo arrived in Videoland in desperate need of help. As luck would have it, Cosmo came across Akiko who seemed more than capable of handling the job. After a few nights of travel, Akiko found herself at the entrance of Saladaria where she quickly made her way past the gatekeeper who was sleeping at his post. While exploring the city, Akiko found herself sidetracked by the sights and sounds of a small, yet joyous techno music festival taking place at the far end of Saladaria's central park. This potential "gaiden" is evidenced by the last minute of the piece and may hint at what to expect from the fourth song in this series. Only time (or rather Bertn) will tell if my speculation holds true. Until then, thank you for sharing this lovely piece with us and the audio portal. <3

Bertn1991 responds:

Oh the joy this brings! What an adorable adventure. I declare it canon. All of it ^.^

[Exodus (2019)]

The song feels kinda Western, except out in space.

"Not much happens here at Vastitas Gulch. Just a small, quiet town in the middle of a large, quiet basin. Most stop on by to restock while making their way to see Olympus Mons while others drop on by to get a taste of our Mars-famous spaghetti. Just humble folk trying to get by on a planet without water... or oxygen. Don't ask us how we manage to boil the pasta. We don't rightly know ourselves."

Bertn1991 responds:

Another glorious review. 5.1/5

Water would boil at such a low temperature on Mars that cooking pasta would be impossible... or so we thought. Them Vastitas boys found a way dad-gummit.

[Mario Paintin' - The Way Too Long Version (2020)]

The song is too long and the description is too short? Wait, what in tarnation is happening in the quarantined world of Bertn?!

There was so much build-up in this, but the climax was far too short. I was truly expecting the entire collection of sound effects to kinda come together in the end. It started to, of course, but it felt a little too... safe? too structured and underwhelming? Not entirely sure how to phrase it. All I know is if anyone could just suddenly explode into a glorious, spontaneous celebration of silliness with everything Mario Paint had to offer, it would be THE Brent Bunn.

5 out of 6 stars. I love it, but it's not perfect.
I'm sorry for being harsh.

Bertn1991 responds:

I hear you and understand. I worked on this song forever but could never come up with anything after the first section, so that's why it just repeats with all the Mario Paint instruments. Easy enough. It was tough to bring all the instruments in at the end and have each one shine, but maybe I didn't try very hard.

I'm inspired to remake it now. We can rebuilt it. We have the technology. Mario Paintin' 2 confirmed.

[Mallard Mania (2020)]

Ah yes, the music during the credits of Mallard Run is probably the most memorable part of the game. An unexpectedly cheery end to an unexpectedly spooky platformer. For most games, the 3D graphics on the N64 have aged poorly over the years, but that merely enhances the creepiness of exploring the murky waters of the mallard's ghost house once again. This time I came prepared, too! Got my flashlight sealed within a large storage zipper bag, along with another bag filled with garlic AND silver bullet-flavored bread crumbs, and my trusty NES Zapper.

Thank you for this lovely trip down memory river, Bertn.

Bertn1991 responds:

You are officially my favorite human <3

[[Sonic 2 SPOOF] - Sonic the DoucheLog in Metro Toilet Zone]

This is some quality shitposting, HbK. It's the sort of thing I might hear on SiIvaGunner's channel, though many of the "high-quality rips" tend to be a little more subtle with their humor... or they turn a game's track into the Flintstones theme song. Either or.

Thank you for cheering me up a little, Alex.

HoboKa responds:

Always a pleasure to shit post remix. It's a side hobby for sure. Lol. I'll scrounge for my other shitposts.

[The compacted Poopie of HOTSTUFFDX (unreleased stuffs)]

Babies First Rave sounds like it belongs in an indie PC game trying to emulate music on an NES.
What gave you the idea to repeat a couple of similar introductions to a NG podcast for nearly one minute?
Passing The Time is just an all-around good tune.
Spontaneous Sexual Compulsions sounds like the rough draft that eventually turned into Prez da Toe.
Is Bitturgoi trying to imitate the music one might hear during close-up shots of dead people in classic horror films?
For some odd reason, I think F'n Philis has the potential to become something great if you work on it a little more.
Happy Happy Birthday 2 Nick Conter's boy fingers!

StufflingDX responds:

Thanks for taking the time to listen through all these aborted songs.

The podcast one, littlbox kept saying welcome to over and over again playing it straight for the beginning of an episode and Idk what the heck made me want to make it into a song.

Prez da Toe came first actually, but I thought kind of the same thing so thats why there in that order. Prez Da Toe was made as a joke for a project I was gonna do with a couple buddies, thats why theres trap hi hats, and why I reused the girl sample.

Bitturgoi was made for CyberDevil to rap over but I thought it sucked so I scrapped it

personally hate F'n Philis, drums stink and the sampling is kinda boring. I do have the same samples laying around so I could always go back and try something similar

[High Tide Ride (2020)]

This is some proper Bertn delight right here. Alongside Lovebug Legacy and Honeybee Flats, High Tide Race offers every bit of sound I've come to expect from a representative piece of your music, Plok. To suggest any change would be to tell you to become someone else entirely, and there's more than enough non-Bertns out in the world as it is.

Thank you, Brent, for continuing to dole out high-quality originality. It's a crime that more creators don't utilize it for their own content.

Bertn1991 responds:

This is a very touching review. Maximum thank you for your support. More Bortn19 coming soon :-)

[Bombo's Academy (2020)]

Everyone I linked this to has responded with it being comparable to Banjo-Kazooie. I want to assume you'll take that as a compliment, though I also want to assume Kirkhope would do the same when being compared to your music.

I, of course, enjoyed this immensely. I, uh, love you, too, Bertn.

Bertn1991 responds:

Maximum thank you. A comparison to Grant Kirkhope is high praise in my book. That N64 sound is exactly what I was going for ^.^

[Busy Beaver (2019)]

"You horrible fowl! How dare you waddle your way into my dam and start quacking during my wooderful song!"

Man, I love it when you deliver a quirky, upbeat track. It's my favorite kind of music, but you probably know that, Bertn. You definitely know that, Bertn. You obviously know you're Bertn.

Bertn1991 responds:

Ducks shall inherit the Earth, busy beavers be dammed. I am the one and only Bubm1994 and quirky is my middle name ^w^