Phronemophobia's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[endK - Showdown]

Absolutely magnificent, Filip! This has been one of the only things to put a smile on my face in the last month and a half. Thank you very much.

endKmusic responds:

Glad I did not dissapoint!
Hope you get better soon, whatever you're going through. :)
Cheers mate and thanks for the support.

[Change | 2011]

There's a certain magic to this piece. I don't like it, because I don't like slow music. but I can't deny its beauty. Listening to this makes me sleepy.

In Thousand Thread Count Forest, there lives a unique species of spider that weaves together the softest, most enticing webs in all shapes and sizes. Many travelers unaware of the forest's reputation are typically caught and forced into an eternal slumber while these spiders rob them of their money and clothes to purchase golden fly pudding and locally-brewed bug juice at a nearby tavern. *yawns*

Bertn1991 responds:

Yeah, I know you don't like slow music, thanks for being so kind about it, as always.

And that's quite a bedtime story there. Very sleep-inducing. I yawned when I read the word "yawn." Locally-brewed bug juice sounds pretty tasty though :^)

[Mario Paint No. 19 | 2013]

I never had the opportunity to play Mario Paint as a child. At best, I had the town tune for Animal Crossing on my GCN. I would like to believe that if I was able to play it as a child, I, too, would probably be making music on a DAW today. All I have is Studio One 3, which I think is a DAW, but I have only found loops and an option to record what I do on my microphone. I don't much care for loops outside of a cereal box, so... I don't know.

It's a relatively simple track, especially when compared to what I've seen and heard over the years on YT videos. On the other hand, it makes for a fantastic listen of how far you've come from such humble 16-bit beginnings. You are one of the most underappreciated composers I've ever had the pleasure to meet on NG. Thank you, Plok.

Bertn1991 responds:

I played the heck outta Mario Paint back in the day. Pretty much everything I do today is because of the influence of Mario Paint. I also played the heck outta Animal Crossing on Game Cube. Did you know that game is actually a port of a Japanese-only N64 game called Animal Forest? Interesting stuff.

I've never used Studio One. It looks pretty great, though, I must say. Looks like it's mostly for recording stuff.

Thanks so much for the kind words. I know the quality is pretty sub-par, especial with the way it was recorded. Regardless, it's fun to go back and listen to my songs for so many years ago.

Thanks again for making this old Plok feel special ^.^

[Mallard Run - Ghost House | 2017]

I would very much love to see what sort of Banjo-Kazooie level this ducky ghost house theme would be representing, but I keep thinking I would just be looking at a large, misty lake with gargoyle statues positioned around the shore.

I cautiously stepped into the lake and stopped right at the edge of the euphotic zone. As I tried my darnedest to look down into the murky water with the help of a flashlight, I jumped at the sound of a door slamming behind me. "Well, I guess there's no other choice now but to swim forward."

Bertn1991 responds:

\_O< \_O< \_O<

I'm glad someone can appreciate the duckness. Also, that's quite a description. I like how your reviews take me on an adventure every time. You should write a book someday :-)

[Past Midnight (Unpolished)]

I'm not a musician, so I can't explain myself in any sort of technical manner. For me, I enjoy a song when I can close my eyes and watch what my imagination creates from it. Here, the mental images are vague and frequently disrupted. The whole thing sounds like a small bunch of similar ideas that don't work well together. It's kinda like when I'm trying to answer somebody and my mind suddenly comes up with a second response, so my mouth ends up combining the two into a messy sentence that sounds slightly dumber than this poorly-typed review. Does that make any sense? Maybe I should have just went with, "Not bad, but not great," and quietly moved on to another song.

I'm sorry. :(

Onefin responds:

Nononononononono you're right what are you saying

Like that's exactly how this piece was made, just a hodgepodge of random junk I decided to stitch together haphazardly in order to stay in the compo. The reason this track isn't uploaded anywhere other than here and says "unpolished" and doesn't have album art is because the track was such a mess that I couldn't be bothered with it anymore

[IoN | 2012]

In the year 2OXOXOXO, Dr. Lighly bought the DIY construction kit for a unique and questionably-powerful robot maverick masterbottroncon. After being reprogrammed by the wily Dr. Wight, this megamiraskulgreybotmonchu has taken control of a green, pleasant land filled with giant cats, Christmas lights, flowing streams of Larry Cola, and a sweaty, suffering mid-level boss in a green shirt straining for relief. What sort of opponent awaits us at the end of this pleasant, charming stage? Should one even bother to reach him if it will mean the end of this beautiful music? Why can't I shoot up?

tl;dr version - I'm pretty sure this is Bertn Man's stage music.

Bertn1991 responds:

The Bertn lore continues...

This game has quite the backstory. It's like a Larry Cola-induced madlib of wonderment. Also, you get the duckbeam for beating Bertn Man. It's completely useless except for that stage with all the breadbots.

Thanks once again for writing such fabulous reviews ^.^

[Pooping In My Pants | 2016]

Setting this to loop is the fastest way to enlightenment.

Bertn1991 responds:

Yep, this is the song that won all the awards :)

[Monster Party - Title Theme | 2015]

I have never heard a remix of Monster Party before. You, sir, are every bit as amazing as the monster in that game who just so happens to also be named Bert. It may be a safe and straightforward remix, but it's a rare and treasured piece of music nonetheless! *hugs you*

Bertn1991 responds:

Thanks for listening. I know it's pretty bare-bones as far as remixes go, but I'm glad you enjoyed. Also, I wasn't aware anyone but me had ever played the game :D

Downloading hug.exe...

Downloading complete...

Running hug.exe as administrator...

hug.exe installed successfully!

[endK - Bottom of the Ocean]

The end of this reminded me of the start of Tristam's theme in Diablo and bits of it make me think of the main theme for The Legend of Zelda. That's kind of an odd combination, isn't it?

Not a particular favorite of mine, but I don't have to enjoy a song to know there's quality behind it.

I'm anxious to hear what cheerful tune you compose next, Filip.

endKmusic responds:

Well, that's quite interesting!
I found that main melody reminds me of Ensiferum and one chord (and feel in general) later on on Agalloch. In ambient/electronic context ofc.
Don't know if you're familiar with these bands but that's how I see it.
Next one won't be that cheerful all the way, but it sure will be in major key, upbeat and energetic. :)
Thanks for the review! <3

[4 Wood | 2017]

It's sounds like a slow, shnazzy version of the Pac-Man music that plays during intermission. It also makes me think it could be the theme for the "cool" side character of an RPG. You know, like Johnny from Chrono Trigger. He had himself a funky, personalized theme, even though you barely got to see The Man.

The player's party is trying to make its way to Mole Vale, but, suddenly, Bertn comes tumbling out in front of them wearing rainbow suspenders and round purple sunglasses. 4 Wood begins to play as the team tries to figure out who this amazing stranger is that impedes their journey. After an enthusiastic introduction, Bertn demands they prove themselves worthy of proceeding through his enchanted forest by competing against him and his colorful band of hat-wearing squirrels in a goofy song & dance battle that's essentially a rhythm mini game.

Bertn1991 responds:

Mole Vale shall rise again!

Also, Johnny should've gotten his own spinoff. Crono and the gang are great, but I wanna know what's going on in Johnny's world.

Being totally serious, your reviews always brighten my day and give me a reason to keep posting things here. This hat-wearing squirrel approves biggly :)