Phronemophobia's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Apathy | 2015]

So, throughout my teenage years, there were television moments where one could tell the network was just trying to fill in an hour or so of programming with something cheap. That cheap something was, more often than not, visibly dated and not particularly entertaining in any way. Usually, it was just nature being natural, like with dragonflies darting about or close-ups of rabbits, frogs, foxes, and other critters that would eventually learn to pilot ships and fight primates... I think, but there would also be footage of kids, cars, and everyday happenings from the late 70s or early 80s (basing that on their clothes and styles). I wasn't sure why something like that was airing, because there was no narration to explain any of it, but it always came with this odd, unsettling, and low-quality music that Apathy (2015) does an eerily good job of mimicking. I don't know if you wish to consider that a compliment. It seems like my memory only works in my favor when I can associate my past to music in some way.

It's kinda neat that you could help me to recall something so minor in my unproductive childhood, though I would be lying if I typed that I felt the same level of enjoyment for this as I normally feel for your compositions.

Thank you, Bertn.

Bertn1991 responds:

I really enjoyed reading this. You painted an interesting picture here. I know this isn't the best song ever, but I'm glad this song could bring back those memories. I had no idea TV channels did this. It does sound rather eerie.

But anyway, thanks so much for listen, as always, and for writing such an interesting review :)

[endK - A Sunset Ago]

Wonderful stuff! It's not often I can find joy in a slower tune. Granted, I didn't care for the ocean sounds and exhaling breath, but the rest of this is the sort of stuff I used to wake up to on a Sunday morning, either on the radio or VH1, since MTV typically had informercials playing at the time. Sure, within an hour, I'll want to switch to something faster, but you've done a great job of recreating those brief, blissful moments I experienced during my childhood (because waking up early nowadays means having to hurry out to work... sigh).

Anyway, thank you for adding another exception to my playlist, Filip.
Merry Christmas and all that, as well.

endKmusic responds:

Glad that you find music (you're not tipically listening to) enjoyable and that I manage to make it that way!
Quite nice story you got there. :D
As an artist, there's something magical about hearing stories like this, and I appreciate it very much.
Thank you and you're welcome.
Merry Christmas to you too, enjoy the holidays! (assuming you have no shifts at this time ;D)

[endK - Showdown]

Absolutely magnificent, Filip! This has been one of the only things to put a smile on my face in the last month and a half. Thank you very much.

endKmusic responds:

Glad I did not dissapoint!
Hope you get better soon, whatever you're going through. :)
Cheers mate and thanks for the support.

[Change | 2011]

There's a certain magic to this piece. I don't like it, because I don't like slow music. but I can't deny its beauty. Listening to this makes me sleepy.

In Thousand Thread Count Forest, there lives a unique species of spider that weaves together the softest, most enticing webs in all shapes and sizes. Many travelers unaware of the forest's reputation are typically caught and forced into an eternal slumber while these spiders rob them of their money and clothes to purchase golden fly pudding and locally-brewed bug juice at a nearby tavern. *yawns*

Bertn1991 responds:

Yeah, I know you don't like slow music, thanks for being so kind about it, as always.

And that's quite a bedtime story there. Very sleep-inducing. I yawned when I read the word "yawn." Locally-brewed bug juice sounds pretty tasty though :^)

[Mario Paint No. 19 | 2013]

I never had the opportunity to play Mario Paint as a child. At best, I had the town tune for Animal Crossing on my GCN. I would like to believe that if I was able to play it as a child, I, too, would probably be making music on a DAW today. All I have is Studio One 3, which I think is a DAW, but I have only found loops and an option to record what I do on my microphone. I don't much care for loops outside of a cereal box, so... I don't know.

It's a relatively simple track, especially when compared to what I've seen and heard over the years on YT videos. On the other hand, it makes for a fantastic listen of how far you've come from such humble 16-bit beginnings. You are one of the most underappreciated composers I've ever had the pleasure to meet on NG. Thank you, Plok.

Bertn1991 responds:

I played the heck outta Mario Paint back in the day. Pretty much everything I do today is because of the influence of Mario Paint. I also played the heck outta Animal Crossing on Game Cube. Did you know that game is actually a port of a Japanese-only N64 game called Animal Forest? Interesting stuff.

I've never used Studio One. It looks pretty great, though, I must say. Looks like it's mostly for recording stuff.

Thanks so much for the kind words. I know the quality is pretty sub-par, especial with the way it was recorded. Regardless, it's fun to go back and listen to my songs for so many years ago.

Thanks again for making this old Plok feel special ^.^

[Mallard Run - Ghost House | 2017]

I would very much love to see what sort of Banjo-Kazooie level this ducky ghost house theme would be representing, but I keep thinking I would just be looking at a large, misty lake with gargoyle statues positioned around the shore.

I cautiously stepped into the lake and stopped right at the edge of the euphotic zone. As I tried my darnedest to look down into the murky water with the help of a flashlight, I jumped at the sound of a door slamming behind me. "Well, I guess there's no other choice now but to swim forward."

Bertn1991 responds:

\_O< \_O< \_O<

I'm glad someone can appreciate the duckness. Also, that's quite a description. I like how your reviews take me on an adventure every time. You should write a book someday :-)

[Past Midnight (Unpolished)]

I'm not a musician, so I can't explain myself in any sort of technical manner. For me, I enjoy a song when I can close my eyes and watch what my imagination creates from it. Here, the mental images are vague and frequently disrupted. The whole thing sounds like a small bunch of similar ideas that don't work well together. It's kinda like when I'm trying to answer somebody and my mind suddenly comes up with a second response, so my mouth ends up combining the two into a messy sentence that sounds slightly dumber than this poorly-typed review. Does that make any sense? Maybe I should have just went with, "Not bad, but not great," and quietly moved on to another song.

I'm sorry. :(

Onefin responds:

Nononononononono you're right what are you saying

Like that's exactly how this piece was made, just a hodgepodge of random junk I decided to stitch together haphazardly in order to stay in the compo. The reason this track isn't uploaded anywhere other than here and says "unpolished" and doesn't have album art is because the track was such a mess that I couldn't be bothered with it anymore

[IoN | 2012]

In the year 2OXOXOXO, Dr. Lighly bought the DIY construction kit for a unique and questionably-powerful robot maverick masterbottroncon. After being reprogrammed by the wily Dr. Wight, this megamiraskulgreybotmonchu has taken control of a green, pleasant land filled with giant cats, Christmas lights, flowing streams of Larry Cola, and a sweaty, suffering mid-level boss in a green shirt straining for relief. What sort of opponent awaits us at the end of this pleasant, charming stage? Should one even bother to reach him if it will mean the end of this beautiful music? Why can't I shoot up?

tl;dr version - I'm pretty sure this is Bertn Man's stage music.

Bertn1991 responds:

The Bertn lore continues...

This game has quite the backstory. It's like a Larry Cola-induced madlib of wonderment. Also, you get the duckbeam for beating Bertn Man. It's completely useless except for that stage with all the breadbots.

Thanks once again for writing such fabulous reviews ^.^

[Pooping In My Pants | 2016]

Setting this to loop is the fastest way to enlightenment.

Bertn1991 responds:

Yep, this is the song that won all the awards :)

[Monster Party - Title Theme | 2015]

I have never heard a remix of Monster Party before. You, sir, are every bit as amazing as the monster in that game who just so happens to also be named Bert. It may be a safe and straightforward remix, but it's a rare and treasured piece of music nonetheless! *hugs you*

Bertn1991 responds:

Thanks for listening. I know it's pretty bare-bones as far as remixes go, but I'm glad you enjoyed. Also, I wasn't aware anyone but me had ever played the game :D

Downloading hug.exe...

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